Tag Archives: music therapy

In, On, Move: A Wellness Series.

Move: I’ve been having motivation issues lately. I know yoga makes me feel better when I do it, but I still have trouble talking myself into doing it every day. I’m a big fan of joyful movement, and the idea that, regardless of health, ability, size, or shape, pretty much everyone can find a way of moving their body that feels joyful to them. I made a decision to give myself a break from yoga and go with what feels good for a little while.

For me, what feels good is dancing. I love nothing more than getting dressed up to go bump and grind with friends in a dim goth or alternative club. Mostly, my fatigue and pain get in the way of such a massive undertaking these days. Since I like making things easy for myself, I figured incorporating dance into my day was a good way to get myself moving without it feeling boring and difficult.

I’ve noticed that there are a few songs on my Spotify list which make me inevitably start moving when I hear them. Whether I’m dancing as I do the dishes or make dinner in the kitchen, doing an improvised bellydancing routine in the bathroom, or just stretching and wiggling to the music in bed on a terrible pain day, I have to move to them.

I’ve started setting a mobile alarm with Rakim by Dead Can Dance on it once or twice a day. That way, I hear it and start dancing. I often replay it a few times because I start enjoying myself. And because it’s in the privacy of my own home, I can let loose and be my uncoordinated and ridiculous self and it doesn’t matter. I’m also a big fan of the album Beats of Ice and Fire by The Boomjacks.

Music on its own can be therapeutic anyway, and singing along helps encourage deep breathing and thus relaxation. So, in the spirit of sharing and increasing my repertoire, give me one song that makes you just have to move. I’d love a complete playlist to work through over the week.

The Patient.

While being fully aware of the beneficial effect of a positive and optimistic mindset on pain management, I am also a firm believer in the therapeutic value of validating experience. So in the interests of being honest and accepting about what I am feeling: I feel awful.

My 16-hour excursion just over a week ago (public transport, a lecture, errands, a meeting, a car trip, more public transport, and several hours at a crowded music festival alternating between standing and sitting on the ground) precipitated a massive system shutdown. Which I expected, but I didn’t think it would be this severe. I realise I probably deserve it for going so overboard, and I think it was worth it, and I realise when you can’t cure chronic pain you have to find ways to live your life anyway. But ugh. So awful.

I managed to avoid drinking at the festival, but ingested a lot of refined sugar and somehow inadvertently some gluten (don’t ask me how I know!), which potentially have made this worse. I also got sunburned at uni yesterday, so I’m headachey and extra-fatigued on top of already being bone-weary, nauseous, and brain-foggy.

I don’t have the energy to prepare meals, or to make myself eat them, so I’m eating one meal a day. I don’t have the energy for yoga so my stress and muscle tension are worse, and the gains I had been making in flexibility are diminishing. I’m behind in my reading because my brain won’t work and I’m exhausted, so by the time I get into bed I’m too stressed to sleep. Then I end up double-dosing my sleeping medication, waking up med-hungover and late, and wasting half the day gearing up enough to do basic tasks (don’t ask if I’ve showered today). I’ve had to go back up to my prescribed painkiller dose, which I had been reducing successfully, which makes me stupid while it’s working and exhausted once it’s over.

The cycle is frustrating and predictable, but feels unavoidable. I feel stuck.

There are things that are incredibly difficult for me and yet helpful, like being kind to myself and asking for help when I need it. Sometimes I get the vague suspicion that these things are what chronic pain is in my life to teach me. The lessons are hard. But in the interests of doing them, I’m asking.

What do you do at times like these, when you are at a loss and nothing is helping? How do you pick yourself up again?

I’ll start, and I will implement these tonight (or may the gods of internet accountability smite me!), even if it means getting further behind on chores and uni work, because if I am not well, none of those things get done anyway.

I will eat a healthy dinner even if I am tired, because my body needs fuel to function.

I will have a warm bath with Epsom salts, while watching an episode of something cheerful and trashy.

I will do 20 minutes of yoga (I like this one at the moment) and I won’t skip through the meditations because I’m too busy.

I will listen to this and remember to be patient and wait it out.

I will get into bed and have a cup of passionflower tea.

I will turn off the light by 10:30.

I will breathe deeply.

I will trust that this too shall pass.

Your turn. I would love to hear your suggestions.