Tag Archives: goals

In, On, Move: A Wellness Series.

At the start of the year, I made some resolutions, which I’ve managed to maintain reasonably successfully. The core aims I had were to care for my body and try and minimise the strain on it by being mindful of what I put in my body to nourish it, and what I put on my body in terms of personal care. I also wanted to focus on moving my body when I am able in a way that celebrates the function and strengths my body has, rather than beating myself up because I can’t do things ‘right’, or as punishment for unhealthy eating, or purely to burn calories for aesthetic reasons.

I realise these things probably sound like no-brainers, but it took me a long time to start being kind to my body post-chronic pain and illness. I fought my limitations, berated my body for its weakness, and restricted food and pushed it to exercise in ways that made me unhappy because I was trying to mould it into something it wasn’t. My mental shift has been gradual, and I still have lapses, but I feel like I’m in a much better place than I’ve ever been before in appreciating my body and prioritising my health and wellbeing.

Wellbeing is a huge part of my approach to living with chronic pain and illness. The goal of a lot of current chronic pain management programs, when they can’t cure the source of pain, is to maximise wellbeing, or physical and mental health, even in the presence of illness and pain. My goal is to be as well as I can be given my circumstances, and the resolutions were my way of prioritising that.

Because I’m nosy, and I like hearing about what others do in their pursuit of health, and also because I use this blog to keep myself accountable for continuing to try and implement positive change, I wanted to start sharing some things I’m trying and enjoying in terms of food (in); beauty, personal care, and cleaning products (on); and ways of moving my body (move, obviously).

As with absolutely everything on this blog (and elsewhere on the internet!) these are suggestions. I like recommending what I’ve found helpful, but people vary! You may not have the same issues I have, and you may not approach things the same way I do, and that’s fine. If, however, you see something you think would be helpful for you, please, please, make sure with your health providers that it is safe for you to do, with your particular set of circumstances. Especially in the case of movement, one size does not fit all where sick people are concerned!

In: Having been in a particularly chocolate-craving frame of mind lately, I decided to give making my own chocolate a go. I don’t tolerate dairy, and soy also leaves my digestive system disgruntled, so since cutting those out of my diet store-bought chocolate is pretty hard to come by. I’ve had some luck with organic, raw varieties like Pana and Loving Earth, but they get expensive! I tried this recipe, which was quick, easy, and delicious. I used maple syrup as the sweetener and added in sultanas and crushed cashews to make a Cadbury Fruit and Nut imitation (apparently I am the only person alive who enjoys it!), but the potential varieties are endless. Tastes amazing, and no tummy dramas = bliss.

On: My skin has been struggling this week. My dermatitis seems to be getting worse and worse, and I’ve tried a variety of creams and serums which seemed promising for a day or two, and then exacerbated the problem. I also had a couple of giant, sore pimples, courtesy of having a couple of higher-dose oxycodone days.

My go-to emergency mask is just two parts organic raw honey to one part baking soda. I add in some oats if I’m particularly itchy. I just put the ingredients in a bowl, mix them with a finger, and then goop it on to a dry face (and in this case, chest and arms). Be warned, this can be messy, so do it over the sink. Leave it on for 10 – 30 mins (I like to have a bath in this interim so I’m not dripping honey everywhere), them add some warm water to your hands, work it in to exfoliate with the baking soda a little, and wipe off with a warm washcloth. Use a cotton ball dipped in half-and-half apple cider vinegar and distilled water as a toner afterward if you feel like going full hippie (by the time I followed up with my usualy moisturiser I no longer smelled like a bizarre salad, in case you were wondering).

I have crazily sensitive skin and this doesn’t bother me, but if you’re concerned, either patch test or use less baking soda to begin with. The honey is antimicrobial and helps with infections. I find this leaves my skin smooth, settles the flakes for a day or so (I tend to use it the day before I have somewhere nice to be), and takes the redness and swelling out of spots. Plus, I get a childlike glee out of smearing food all over my face. Just me?

Move: I have been all about yoga this year. I’m noticing distinct differences in my muscle strength with brief daily practice that fill me with glee, and most importantly, they can be done in the privacy of my lounge room, which means I can fearlessly wear a sports bra and shorts, and also do my routine directly in front of an air con vent. Key considerations to getting through a Western Australian summer! (Useless fact: the highest temp in my state this summer was 49 degrees Celcius, which is 120 degrees Farenheit. I can’t even.)

I’ve been mixing up back, neck, and shoulder routines from Ekhart Yoga on Youtube, with this and this being current favourites. She often outlines accommodations if you can’t manage a pose, but generally speaking hatha, yin, and restorative yoga are helpful for people with pain or injury. Several of these poses and stretches have been recommended for me by my physiotherapist, so they suit my issues, but be careful to find something that suits yours if you’re interested.

I’d love to hear what you do to keep yourself well and get some new ideas (like I said, nosy).

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See-Sawing.

Growing up, I did ballroom dancing for several years. As an adult I’ve always wanted to get back into the Latin side of it (give me a Paso Doble over a foxtrot any day). My partner was wanting to give it a go too, so we bought an online voucher for eight weeks of lessons last year in June, around the time of my back surgery. We knew we had plenty of time to use them after a couple of months for my recovery.

We’ve talked about it intermittently since then, but never made concrete plans, since my recovery didn’t go as expected and I’ve had several facet joint and nerve flares since the surgery rather than the smooth sailing I was expecting. I thought we had until this June, he thought March, so we checked the voucher recently to confirm. Turns out it expired at the start of January and we had missed our chance. I was so upset.

It’s not just the waste of money (it wasn’t that expensive), although I did feel awful since he had paid for it and it was my fault we hadn’t used it. I was disappointed because it was something we had both been looking forward to (we’ll probably still get around it to eventually). But mostly, I was upset because it drove home the fact that, in the last seven months, I haven’t had eight consecutive weeks in which I was pain-free enough to go dancing, despite having spent roughly $7000 out-of-pocket on painful back surgery that was essentially guaranteed to fix me.

I had vastly different expectations for how the last six months were going to go, and it didn’t pan out, and I am disappointed and grieving my loss. That’s life, particularly with chronic illness and pain. On the plus side, I did a shoulder stand for about 2 seconds yesterday, which at any earlier point in the last five years would have been impossible, and I was filled with a massive sense of excitement, pride and achievement. Here’s to the ups and downs!

Motivational Conflict and Pain Avoidance.

http://www.bodyinmind.org/a-new-perspective-on-avoidance-behavior-research/

I recently read some research on avoidance of behaviours which cause pain, and the effects of conflicting goals on that avoidance. The gist was that people with pain will engage in behaviours that they know will cause pain if there is motivation to do so because the behaviour will fulfil a goal that is important to them. There was also evidence that the brain helps override the pain avoidance by dulling pain signals, thus facilitating the achievement of the goal.

I found this kind of irritatingly simplistic. Of course people with chronic pain sometimes override their inclinations to avoid pain so that they can do something that is important to them. I’ve done this recently; on a bad back day, I was giving my favourite six-month-old boy a cuddle while walking around. It was uncomfortable but manageable. When my discomfort increased, I went to lay him down on the couch next to his mum, which involved bending over with a few kilograms in my arms; usually a big no-no for me, but I hadn’t really thought it through. Halfway down, my back seized and I was suddenly in intense pain.

My choice was to drop the baby and right myself, or continue in the movement causing me pain. I did not drop the baby (thank goodness!) because the goal of keeping him safe was more important to me than the goal of making the pain subside. In the moment, the decision to not avoid the pain was easy. The aftermath of that movement was five days largely bed-ridden and in agony. I would still make the same decision again.

I find this research, and the line of thinking it implies (that if it is important enough to you, you’ll do [painful thing]), problematic because it omits the consequences from the equation. When medical staff or allied health professionals see chronic pain patients, they see our present pain but not the aftermath of our actions. When I visit a physiotherapist and she asks me to bend in a certain way, the movement may not cause unbearable pain in the moment, but it may mean a week spent in bed because I pushed beyond what was comfortable. The next time I see her, she will say, “I know you can do it, I saw you do it before”, but she isn’t the one helping me get to the toilet for a week in between appointments.

To me, the equation is not:

If [importance of goal] is larger than [immediate pain of action to fulfil goal], then complete action.

It is something more complicated:

If [importance of goal requiring action] is larger than [Expected intensity + duration of pain] x [fear of that pain and consequent disability], then complete action.

It also makes me wonder where novelty comes into it. When [expected intensity + duration of pain] is novel and therefore unknown (such as when engaging in a new or unfamiliar activity), is an individual more or less likely to act? Will that vary by importance?

Personally, when the goal is more important and the potential pain is unknown, I think I am more likely to act than when a goal is important but the potential pain is known (because I can hope that the pain will not be too bad, and I know the action is important). When the goal is less important and the potential pain is unknown, I am less likely to act than when the goal is unimportant and the potential pain is known (because I am not willing to risk large potential pain and disability for a relatively unimportant goal).

How do others deal with these decisions? How do you decide when to override your pain-avoidance behaviours? And does anybody else sometimes just say, “Screw it, this isn’t important and my potential pain is likely to be huge, but I’m going out dancing anyway because I’m tired of being sick” – or is that just me? 🙂